The Australia Problem
by Keiko Sahara
Summary: What happens when Alfred is forced to go see his big brother Australia by Canada for World Nations Week? Will he be rushed to the hospital after and encounter with one of his many poisonious animals or will he discover something that he never knew about .


**The Australia Problem**

America looked up at his leader with pleading blue eyes, "Puh-lease!"

The president glared at him, admmantly sticking to his decision. "No, Mr. Aflred, I will not allow it."

America grabs Obama by the front of his shirt, bringing him up to him. If anybody else had done that they would've died in a second. The Secret Service men twitch but knew Alfred wouldn't hurt the president, concerning what he was begging the president to do.

"Come on, please! It would boost the moral of the army and attract more men to the service. Its a good idea." He releases his bosses, shirt, realising who he was grabbing. "And besides, big brother Australia did it, why can't we?"

Obama rights himself, dusting off his suit, "Mr. Jones, we can't allow it, its just not right."

"Why not?" Alfred exclaims, "Come on, I never ask you for anything, I just go out a fight your battles. Just once, can't I make an army regulation?"

"No, I have better things to do than to pass this 'regulation' through congress, now, go back to work Mr. Jones." His boss sits down, restacking the papers that were on his desk.

"But..." Alfred begins.

"No, buts, no drop this matter and get back to work." The President says, not even looking up as his nation.

Aflred groans, looking like a kid who didn't get his way, his lip poked out in anger. He stomps away, closing the door behind him, acting childish the leader thought. He had never thought when he became president he would have to put up with the problems of his nation, litterally.

888

America grumbles, not happy that he was in the Outback. He was visiting his big brother Australia, forced to by Canada, after all, it was World Nation's Week. He hadn't seen the Aussie in years in fact, being scared out of his wits when Austin handed him a tiger snake, showing him the stripes on the worldest most leathal snake besides the black mamba. America had rushed back to his house in the states and declared he would never go back to Australia, the island nation having too many poisonious or lethal animals, all of which Austin would show him up close and personal.

"Ugh, stupid hat." America says, grabbing his cowhand hat before the wind swept it away.

"Alfred?" He hears a familiar voice and groans, seeing Australia walking up to him, his evil kwola on his shoulder, his red eyes glaring at America. "Good day, mate! Haven't seen ya since that time I let you see that beaut of a snake, screamed like a lassie you did."

America groans, wishing he was back in his air-conditioned house in Washington. "Nice to see you too Steve."

"So, what brings you to the Outback, mate?" Australia declares, rubbing the bandage on his nose in aggrivation.

America sighs, "J-just to visit, that's all. See the Kangaroos, the sites, you..."

Australia perks up, "Hey, you want to see a base of mine, I'd be honored to show you around."

"Military? Um, sure." America looked surprised, he halfed expected Australia to say he was going to show him a crocodile or let him see some other dangerous creature that would end like the tiger snake incident.

"Come on, its not to far from here, besides, I was just heading that way myself." He says, walking ahead of America.

America as he's walking groans, imagining what his army was like. All he could picture was a base full of guys throwing snakes at him. America shuddered, asking what he had gotten himself into. This time he wouldn't freak out, even if the snake bite him. He would be at a base and he would get anti-venom. He wouldn't scream, he wouldn't allow it. He arrives on the base, Australia motioning for him to go first. America groans, preparing himself for the worst. He wasn't prepared for what he saw.

Women, lots of women. There was males but he didn't notice them, he just noticed the women soilders with huge chests. All of them, not one in the bunch had less than a D. Alfred is shocked, unable to think straight, just staring in awe.

"Uh, ALfred? Alfred...did you hear me? Mate, you ok?" Australia says.

America shakes his head, snapping out of it, "Uh, yeah, yeah, I heard you loud clear. No bra...I MEAN problem, nope, nothing. Fine as rain, I am, yeah. Hahahaha." He says, studdering and being distracted by the women soilders.

Australia looks at America and grins, "Oh, you...ha, don't worry. I won't tell them."

America groans, embaressed that he was caught, unable to get rid of the blush that had covered his whole face. Australia pats his back, "So, I take it your army doesn't look this good, does it."

"N..no. How'd you get all these...here." He says, looking to Australia as a god.

Australia grins, "Its regulation mate. All the women get breast implants when they join the army, its the rules."

America about falls out, he now offically loved Australia, forgetting why he disliked the man in the first place. America throws his arm around Australia, grinning wide. Australia looks surprised as America hugs him.

"YOU ARE THE BEST BIG BROTHER EVER!" He says, patting Australia on the back.

The soldiers stop and stare at America who is hugging tightly onto Australia. Australia looks embrassed as his little brother was squeezing the life out of him, wishing he hadn't brought him to see his Military. America lets go, smiling wide.

"Can..can I stay here?" He asks, looking pleadingly at Australia, "PLEASE..." He says, his hands clasped in front of him.

"Oi? What you say?" Ausralia says, looking at America with a confused look on his face, usually when America came over he couldn't wait to go home. Now, he was eager to stay. "Um, sure why not, with Korea eyeing me weirdly I need all the help I can get." He grins, America's face lighting up in joy.

America grins, "This is regulation? Why?"

Australia laughs, "It gives the women confidence and it attracts more men into the army, and a happy army is a working army, am I right?"

America nods, "Hell yeah, I LOVE the land down under!"

Canada walks into the Army base, looking for America. Usually America would've called a long time ago, freaking out because of some animal Australia had thrown at him or something like that. Strangely a few hours had gone by with not one call from his brother or anything. Canada was worried, Australia's house was filled with deadly animals and poisonious snakes. America could be dead for all he knew. He walks around, not even noticing the women walking around, too worried about his brother. He hears a yell, recognising it immediatly. America.

"Alfred!" Canada says, dashing around the corner and freezing in place.

"Ay, get a hold of his feet mate." Australia says, grabbing onto the crocs mouth and pinning him down.

"Rodger." America says, holding onto the lower half of the crocodile, trying to pin the two small legs to the croc's side.

Australia laughs, "Who's Rodger?"

Canada cannot believe his eyes, seeing America, his brother who wanted nothing to do with Australia, activly participating in helping the older nation pin down a 9 foot crocodile. America lcoks his arms around the croc, its tail thrashing him around. He was smiling as wide as he could, he was scared but, he was surpsingly having fun. Why did he never get along with Australia before now, he was just as awesome as he was. Sure he may still follow the queen but America didn't care about that anymore. Australia grabs some tape, wrapping it around the croc's jaws, and locking his arms around the croc's front legs, pinning them as well.

"Alright, Alf. We need to pick him, up, you think you can do that?"

America scoffs, out of breath at just controlling the powerful tail, "Hell yeah, I'm America, I can do anything."

"Alright, on 3." He grips tighter, "I."

"2." America continues.

"3." They both lift up, the croc thrashing one last time, almost throughing America off balance.

"Hey, you ok back there?" Australia says.

"Yeah, yeah, just fine, alright where do we put 'em?" He says, yelping as the tail hits his back.

Canada snaps out of his shock, "America? What are you doing?" He yells just as loud as his brother now.

Australia looks and waves, letting go of the crocodile, forgetting what he was doing, "Canada hey bro, what'cha been up to?"

The croc turns, lunging at America. He yelps out, the tape the only thing keeping the crocodile from snapping off his head. He lets go of the bottom of the croc and leaps for the upper body, holding toghtly onto the beast, laughing truimphet as he had sucessfully wrangled a crocodile and was now holding the 9 foot monster in his arms. He was laying ontop of the crocodile on the ground, grinning wdiely.

Canada yells, "ALFRED! STEVE! CROCODILE, ATTACKING ALFRED!"

Australia turns around and looks in fear, "Oh man, hold on mate!"

"I got 'em, I got 'em." AMerica breaths out, "Its ok, I got him restra-" The croc goes into a death roll, AMerica being dragged under the crocodile, Australia, yelling in fear, rushes toward America. He grabs America's arm and yanks him out from under the animal, America knocked out cold. The crocodile dashes away, slipping into the water hole, the tape snapping off of his jaws. He glares at the two men, before going under the water again.

"Mate? Mate, speak to me, you ok?" Ausralia says, shaking America, "Speak to me!"

AMerica opens his eyes, looking at Australia and Canada, looking worriedly at their brother. America grins, "THAT. WAS. AWESOME!" He says, "Did you see that, I thought I had 'em and then, then he did some wierd flip and I was hit with his tail. That was awesome!" He says, standing up, bruised, and cuts all over him.

Canada grabs his arm, dragging him away from Australia, "You are coming home right now before you die." He says, AMerica looking back inconfusion.

"But Mattie, I was having fun, I don't want to leave." America says, being dragged, "MATTIE, LET ME GO!"

And America was dragged, kicking and screaming out of Australia's house, wanting to go back and have a rematch with that crocodile.

**I did this because, one, it was Nations Week (This was back in September, I was toolazy to put this up ^^;) And Xiggy kept asking me to do it, so I finally decided to put this up. Yes, the Australian Army does regulate this, but the woman don't have to get it. Turns out, the army pays for their boob jobs. I found out on Spike... Read and Review. Oh, yeah, Australia is named Steve Kirkland for the late Steve Irwin. I miss him, I cried when he died. RIP Steve Irwin.**


End file.
